Finally!! I actually went out with the Mr Snap Snap today (yesterday actually. 27/10). We had a nice getting-to-know-each-other coffee session, then we watched "The Prestige" (he has seen it but wanted to see it again with me) and had a lovely Vietnamese dinner (Well it wasn't really that nice. The food I mean. But the company is what matter).

I was feeling sooooooo jittery at first. Went to the office in the morning and took the rest of the day off. My tummy couldn't behave. Wanted to throw up for several times. Yeah I have this weird thingy which I feel like throwing up whenever I'm nervous or excited. But I was actually alright after he texted me saying that he was nervous instead. At least both of us feel the same way which helped me build my confidence ;)

Anyway, we met at 230pm cafe at twin tower. He was wearing this marroon round-neck longsleeve top with jeans and I was in this pink singlet and jeans on. He looked really cute. The appealing feature that took my breathe away are his eyes. Ouh myy... they are either blue or green.. They are sooo light that I am not sure the exact colour of his pretty eyes. And he has these long dark brown lashes.. Attractive in a manly kinda way. Overall, he's cute ;)

We had fun. We left twin tower at around 10pm. Sent him off to his apartment and continued our usual midnight chatting until 2am (I know. I don't have a life. Well he doesnt as well so it makes both of us losers on a Friday night.. heheh..). He has this Deepavali open house tomorrow morning.

Bo's review on Mr Snap Snap:

I don't want to sound shallow but I think physically, he is very cute and attractive. A bit short (about my height - which is tall for a girl but kinda short for a guy) but his personality over shadowed it. A person who knows what he wants, which I think was very appealing. He chose where to eat while giving me some options to choose. Unlike some guys I went out with, have problems deciding where to eat and ended up I was giving ideas instead. That is a major TURN OFF.

Personality wise, he is almost as tiring as my last ex but alot better though. Too opiniated. Don't get me wrong. I like that in a man. I've grown tired of submissive men. But he has too many BUTs.. which is sometimes very exhausting. Probably, he just wants to impress me with his opinions and stuff. I don't know why I keep on giving men this vibe that I need to always have deep intense conversations everytime. Well, I don't. Once in while, intellectual stimulating conversation is good. But not all the time. Sometimes, talking cock is just as good as any intelligent conversations. 

So if I rate him, I'd give him an 8 and a half out of 10. 

And do I want to fuck him? The answer is a definite YES please ;)

Yes people.. I got issues. And for the very longest time of my life.. I admit now.. That I have issues. That is what they refer to as the first step to recovery. 

After a lot of thinking, I just realized that those men I went out with don't really have issues. I mean, really serious issues.  But I do. Some of them are extremely nice and what my many friends refer to as the-best-to-keep men but I always ended up ditching them. I can't really remember when was the last time I was dumped. Yes. Dumped. They might sometime leave me in the dark but none of them really pushed me away. I was the one who did a lot of pushing and I think I should call it quit.

For instance, the DJ guy. We went out for 4 lonnngg months. He was nothing but nice towards me (not to forget that he is HOT as hell). Acting all gentleman and didn't even try to take a slight advantage of me even when I was totally wasted drunk. He had seen me with less make up than any other men had seen me with. He offered to do my chores for me. And the best bit, he spent almost every freaking Sunday watching movies with me even when he had a very long night on Saturday. 

Reason why I dumped him? It was too long and all I wanted was a good fuck! Hehehe.. But you see, I was partly at fault. Cause I was acting all angelic-like with him and have never initiated on any physical contacts or even left him any clues for that matter. Why? I don't know. I do that to all my men and usually they'll get into my pants one way or another (and I'd let them). But he didn't. Even worse, after my sudden silent treatment to push him away, he begged not only me but my friends (that he know's nothing of) for the real reason which I failed to provide him. I, am to chicken for confrontation. So I did what I always do best. I left him clueless. And kept telling  myself again and again, "He had it coming. He should have given me good fuck so I'd stay longer." 

But the fact is, I got issues. I was not ready for a commitment (well at least with him).  He wanted it so I chickened out. I can get a mind-blowing fuck any freaking time from my other men. He's not to be blamed. It's not because we didn't have sex. It's because I don't see having a real relationship with him. He is too nice. And I, always falls for jerks and A-hole. It's like a trademark from hell.

And if you look really really closely, you can see the following ad written on my forehead, "Interested in stupid guys who like to treat me like shit. Will fuck on a first date."  Erghhh..

So what do I do when the next good guy comes knockin? Show him my panties and see if he'd bite ;) hehehe..

I went shopping today. HmM.. okie I didnt really intend to shop but how can a girl resist herself from getting these black sexy strappy sandals (which also look like I-want-to-sex-you-up sandals) from "Nose". Plus it wasnt really expensive. It was on SALE!! :)

I think I'll manage to squeeze a bit of my budget this month (and next month.. hehe).

I have also got the eyes for a pair of Nine West. I fell in love with that brand when I was shoe searching in Singapore. The pair I fell in love with have my name all over em. but sadly.. not my shoe size ;( I went looking to almost 5 stores around the erea.. but still no avail. Even in KL, they seem to have problems having my size; which is size 9 (ahh.. thanks to my dad's big feet) and the largest they have so far is 8. I think I should have my feet size reduction. Or better yet, maybe if I soak them long enough, they would shrink to a smaller size. Hehe. I just have to get a pair of NW ;(

Anyway, am planning to get a new pair of white or light-brown pumps. Top Shop has a line up of very very lusciously sexy patterns but most of them are with pig lining (Well, if you don't know.. I'm a Muslim so I have issues ;)).

hMmM.. Perhaps I should do some research on this pig/pork stuff. I have heard before that Muslims are not allowed to eat the freaking animal but no issues on touching it. So how far is it true? Who knows if it is, I can own a bloody pair of TS pig-lining-shoes after all ;) - hehe.. Let's cross our freaking fingers ;)

who the hell calls their significant others, babe? who?

well i do use that name sometimes but only to refer to my colleagues and friends and sometimes favourite clients.

but not to any of my boyfriends or men i go out with. it is sssoooo a major turned off!

but.. ahh ouh yeah.. i went out with a guy who likes to call me that but in a weird kinda way. instead of babe.. he'll add on ZzZz at the end so it sounded like i was a million babe to him - 'babez', which until today puzzles me. fyi, he was the DJ guy.

why all the sudden with the babe thingy? oki lemme explain.. being a loser as i aleady am ;P i was actually scrolling profiles in myspace which i found one particular profile with a picture of a freakin gorgeous guy with his gf. but when i clicked into this french guy's (that's wat stated in his profile) picture index, i saw a captions of all his pics - i.e. my babe, my sweet babe and i. hahahaha.. i was confused whether to laugh or to puke. perhaps i should have laugh until i puke.. hehehe

sometimes i feel that i dont act my age.

at work.. ppl always assume that am 28. well dont get me wrong.. 28 is not that old.. but for a 25 year old grL.. it's not a compliment at all.

they told me that it is probably how i present myself. and speak to my colleagues and customers. i give them the dont-mess-around-with-me kinda impression. which to tell u the truth.. i find it rather amusing. coz i have always been myself. okie.. i can be pretentious some time but hey.. it's all about trying to fit it. perhaps it's just the asian thingy which the older u are.. the more respect u gain. which i think is crap! i mean.. ive always believe that we have the respect. regardless how old u are.

for instance, my mum has always taught us that parents are always right. no matter what they do.. no matter how wrong they are.. they are always right. so since i was a lil kid.. i need to listen to everything she says. (even until today). why? coz she's the parent so she's right. despite that i strongly detest this conservatice mindless practice.. i still abide to all the rules she lay upon me. this is traditionally considered as respect. 

why didnt i rebel? well just say that this mindset has made me for who i am today. altho i must admit that this mentallity drilled upon me has somehow contaminated along the way. i learn that u cant force someone to respect you the way u think u should be respected. u have to earn this by respecting others. however at the same time, being somewhat experienced and older.. automatically you are considered BIG. which SHOULD be respected. and that doesnt mean that u shouldnt respect others.

or perhaps these older ppl are respected not due to their experiance and age, but more drawn to their frailness and sensitive conditions. not to hurt their feelings. they have lived too long on this planet.. so they need some acknowledgement. appreciation. which i think in conclusion.. can be considered respect.

which now am confused.. do i really give any of the above impressions at work?

hMmMm.. probably so ;(

yesterday i indulged in a serious conversation with an online friend. the photographer.

anyway, he had an interesting entry posted in his blog. regarding the usefullness of men. which i was intrigued.

so are men useful? i believe in this era.. men are just constructive for one main thing. yes ppl. sex. other than that? they cant do anything right. plus any girls can do what any men can and cannot do. true?

lemme give you a few simple examples.

example #1: i used to hav a male assistant at work which he had to do all the filing and paperworks for me. he was some or rather not capable of doing a good job. i surely think that he has some issues reporting to a girl. especially when i am waaaayy younger than him. it came to the limit which he cant do anything right so i seek my boss approval to have a female assistant instead. 

now.. i have 2 promising female assistants who are doing great at their tasks. that's relieve! as for my ex male assistant. 

example #2: i've been brought up with a family full of men; my dad and 2 elder brothers. as u kno.. my dad wasnt around that much so technically i had to depend on my 2 brothers. but the fact is, they were never there to do anything in the house. i did not have a maid back then so the household was under my supervision. since at the age of 11! even when it comes to fixing anything at home. my mum would never asked my brothers to look at anything but instead, she'll asked me to do it.

now.. sadly to say. they cannot do anything right. i dont want to say this.. but i think my mum has failed to raise these 2 men properly. and i became someone who believed that i can survive without having any men around.

these above mentioned examples are the most simple examples that i can think of now. in conclusion; as for now, men are not useful in my life. EXCEPT when needed for sex. am happy with my 3 sex based relationship ;)

i was driving back from my dad's 3rd wife buka puasa session at her place.. and suddenly wonder..

how far wud a guy go if he really likes a girl?

1. call her out of the blue?

2. pick her up just to see her for 10 minutes?

3. share with her secrets?

4. cancel all his plans to accomodate her plans?

and the list goes on...

how far wud a girl go if she really likes a guy?

- SLEEP WITH THAT GUY. 

and who said women are impossible creatures? 

i was looking thru my ol bloggies.. and i see a different person writing now.

i used to be soo weak. always failing to fight my stupid feelings. i was really involved with my emotions that i refused to see everything else. and i was also freaking indenial. i didnt want to believe that i wanted to be in love but most of the contents of my old bloggies were about me falling for someone. confused. waiting for somthing serious in relationship. erghh.. 

i dont kno whether i should be happy or sad now. i used to be weak and stupid. but now ive become strong and wiser.

which i currently am confused.

i miss that grl.

she knos how to appreciate love. altho sex has always been my priority.. but i was also looking for a relationship back then.

now? i run away at the 1st sniff of relationship. i dare not take chances. i'd be lying thru my teeth if i say that i dont fall or go crazy about a guy anymore. base on my previous posts.. u kno i still do. but i no longer wait. i no longer longed. basically.. i no longer care if sumthing is not sumthin. 

is this what it's cost being stronger and wiser? 

if it is.. hmMmM.. guess u just hav to deal with it Bo!

someone from the past just contacted me. Mr Single-Malt-Sex.

well he was that "friend of a friend" guy. which i slept with months ago. the short fling i had during my mum's absence early this year.

i was actually surprised because he is currently with someone new now (and so-called seriously in love - well looking at his friendster profile laa) but yet.. all the sudden.. i got a bootie call from him.

we had our "wild time". partying.. getting drunk and ending the night with our non-stop fucking sessions. it was a good two months. he was a good fuck ;)

yesterday.. we had our out-of-the-blue chats via YM and he suddenly started talking how he misses me and such. i thot it was just a harmless flirt kinda thing which we always do.. but then he suggested that we meet up this saturday. told him that it's fasting month and we should respect the month but he kept on persisting that we meet.

i was actually tempted to give it a go since that i have not been getting any for a month. and his various kinky invites were really turning me on. minus the fact am in a very horny mood now but hey.. it's fasting month. it's a once a year kinda thingy. i admit that am not an angel but u havta kno your limits sometime. there are things u can do.. and things u cant.

if he thinks that it's alright to fuck ourselves senselessly during fasting month.. that's his call. his choice. i still dont believe that i should. only 2 weeks to go. if i can go without sex for more than 3 months.. 2 weeks is nuthin. if he really wants it.. he'll wait ;)

but the main thing that puzzles me is.. why does he wanna fuck when he can get it anytime from his gf? is he not getting enuf?

weird. coz when the last time when i read his blog (when he was still single and we were fuck buddies).. he was actually looking for love. real love. and when he got someone to give him that.. he looked elsewhere for sumthin else. 

i guess men will always be men. and who bloody said that they can keep their cocks to themselves? 

ouh by the way.. am definitely gonna fuck him. probably after raya ;)